Resilience

This is kind of a random post, but I was thinking about it today on the train and thought I'd go ahead and write about it.

Last weekend I was talking to my dad about when I was young and it was determined that I was 70% deaf. My dad said one day we were in the kitchen and a car honked outside and I asked my dad "What was that daddy?" and it was then he realized that all along, I hadn't been able to hear the normal, day-to-day things. They took me to the doctor and realized I couldn't hear, and then I had to get tubes put in my ears (on multiple occasions). When I was talking to my dad about it recently, I realized that the reason I'm so very detail-oriented and why I am always acutely aware of things going on around me, is because when I was young, that took over since I was deaf. I also have a keen sense of smell. Haha! I could smell something from a mile away (okay, not really but you get the point). And, for the first few years of my life I would read lips when people talked to me, so to this day, at night I can mute the TV and still be able to get a gist of what people are saying.

So anyways, the point of this little story is that I am amazed at how resilient kids can be. I think a lot of it has to do with the parents' outlooks on a child's setback, illness, disease or what have you. I think when parents are able to take that set-back as just a part of life, and not portray to the child that it's a huge, serious debilitation, that it helps the child to move on and just be as happy-go-lucky as usual. I think my parents did a good job with this, because I can barely remember my procedures to get my hearing to 100%. I do remember right before the surgeries that I would have my Teddy Rupskin, but that's about it!

Another instance I can think of a child's resiliency is when my brother was diagnosed with ADHD at a very early age. My parents chose to not have him put on any medication, and eventually my brother and parents were able to deal with this in their own way. My parents had to adjust how they gave instructions to my brother, and my brother had to teach himself how to focus and pay attention. He'll be 25 this year and he is an incredibly focused, and determined individual. I think this has to do in part with my parents not treating my brother like ADHD was an inhibitor, but rather, how to deal with it and move on.

I have some friends who have a young son with Cystic Fibrosis (CF) and I'm amazed with (what appears to me) the ease they've been able to cope his disease. It seems to me that they've taken the situation, learned as much as they can about it (and continue to learn), raise as much awareness as they can about it, and have just plugged along to make his life as fulfilling as possible without letting CF hinder any part of it. Ben has to take a number of pills every day and go through his CPT (chest physical therapy) twice a day, and of course go to his various doctor appointments. But for all intents and purposes, he is a happy, well-cared for baby. I'm sure that Ben's parents have their moments when they may feel helpless, worried or unsure of what will happen next, but they still make sure that Ben has a normal life, just like every healthy child.

I'm not a parent yet, so I couldn't imagine the feeling of having a child who may be sick, or has an issue with development or some type of set-back. I'm sure there's a feeling of helplessness and "why me?" But I think that those parents who are able to show their kids that life goes on, it is what it is, how to deal with it and make the most of it, that the children come out in the end with so much more endurance in life, and a great spirit about things.

Side note: if you'd like to donate to Margaux and Ryan Hughes's CF Team to raise awareness about CF and to help find a cure for Ben, here's a great link you can follow to do that:
http://www.cff.org/great_strides/dsp_donationPage.cfm?registeringwalkid=6380&idUser=311771&source=SNOT