It was one heck of a weekend - in the best way possible . :)
I'm not quite sure I can put my/our experience into words because it's almost indescribable. But I'll try.
What I'm referring to is a Couples Weekend that Kevin and I attended. It's through an organization called FamilyLife, and I think that going to FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember was probably the best decision Kevin and I have ever made for our relationship, marriage and future family.
We didn't quite know what to expect during the weeks leading up to the Weekend to Remember. We knew it was somehow based on the Bible, and that other people would be there, but we really had no clue what to expect. We were a little nervous. In all honesty, I was expecting it to be some über-religious event (not that there's anything wrong with that) where all the attendees had to hold hands and sing Kumbaya together and share our experiences with everyone there. But it was so not that, yet it was so much more!
There was so much covered over the weekend that I'm not sure I want to lay it all out here, because it could take you a sweet forever to read. Ha! There were amazing speakers and essentially what I learned (among a ton of incredibly important things) is that your spouse is a treasured gift from God. When I heard and read that, it was definitely an "ah hah" moment for me. All too often we take for granted our spouses. At least I know I did/do. But God chose that one person for you; not for anyone else.
Throughout the weekend we learned what causes marriages to fail, how to communicate and approach arguments effectively (because you can't not fight or argue - it's just impossible and there would probably be something wrong if you didn't), details of intimacy, marriage based on the Word of God, how to forgive (not only your spouse, but maybe family members), how to turn to God in times of hardship and not turn against each other, how to maintain your marriage in society when the world is against you, and how to leave a legacy.
Kevin and I are not incredibly religious people. I mean that to say, that we believe in God and we consider ourselves Christians. Kevin was raised Catholic and I was raised Lutheran. But reading the Bible, turning to God in times of rough situations wasn't something we did. But after this weekend, we have made it part of our lives to start doing that. Not only for ourselves and our marriage, but for our future family.
I cannot say enough good things about FamilyLife. It was literally a life-changing experience. I look to Kevin as the leader of our family and also the spiritual leader of our household now. I always liked to believe that he would become those things eventually, but I never knew when or if that would happen. But it has, and I couldn't be happier. Friday night was the first night that we have ever prayed together - out loud - at home. It brought tears to my eyes.
The people who attended the Weekend to Remember were so different and there for many different reasons. There were couples who were engaged, couples who just got married a week ago, couples who have been married for a year or maybe five years, couples who've been married for over 30 years, and sadly enough, couples who were on the brink of divorce and that weekend was their last chance at saving their marriage. No matter what couple and what situation, that weekend applied to everyone.
I'm a people-watcher, so I enjoyed watching the couples interact. It was interesting to see on Friday evening when the conference first started and the body language between couples. Distant is the only word that I can use to describe it. And I could tell that there were men there who were definitely forced into going. However, when Sunday came around couples were holding hands, being affectionate with one another, leaning in towards each other to talk, and just smiling all the time. It really was a beautiful thing to witness.
Not once was this conference "cheesy" and no one was ever put on the spot or asked to share their situation or relationship. It was practical, straight forward, SO INCREDIBLY HELPFUL and just an amazing experience.
I know that Catholics have what's called Engaged Encounters for couples to complete before getting married. I haven't heard much about it from my friends who had to do that. But I have a feeling that the Weekend to Remember is nothing like Engaged Encounters - which is unfortunate. I think if every couple attended this conference - or something similar - that marriages would be that much stronger and divorces would be that much less in this world.
Kevin and I have already decided that we will attend a Weekend to Remember at least every two to three years. It's just a great way to get back to what marriage is really about, to center yourselves, to just concentrate on what is important in life - and not what society and the media tells you what's important. I would so strongly recommend this to everyone out there. Even if you think you have a great and perfect marriage - this would just make it that much better!
During our date on Saturday night (which is a requirement of the Weekend to Remember) Kevin and I not only had the best time, but talked and talked and talked! We realized we had not talked as much as we did over the weekend as we have in probably the past three years. Isn't that sad? And I know we're not the only couple that this happens to.
I cannot say enough good things about FamilyLife. If any of you have attended a FamilyLife event, let me know and what you thought of it - I'd love to hear! If any of you have questions or might be considering attending a FamilyLife event, I want to know too! This isn't to say that the Weekend to Remember made us the perfect couple and we will no longer ever have any problems. It's just to share what an impact it made on us and how we feel a little better prepared to face the challenges that creep up in a marriage.
The weekend changed Kevin so much as well, but since that was his personal experience, I'll leave that out. We are so incredibly excited to get married and start a family now. Not that we weren't before, but even more so now. I know this may sound cliché, but I am more in love with Kevin after this weekend than I have ever been in all of our six years together. I didn't think that was possible - but it is. And I'm pretty sure he can say the same for me. ;)
*I was not compensated in any way for this. It was just my/our personal experience and it was an incredibly great one.
Blessed,
